Interview to drive the Baht bus

Thailand Baht Bus license interview.

This is how I envision it, anyway. Translated to English:

Interviewer: Have you ever driven a taxi/bus before?

Potential Driver: No, will that be a problem?

I: Oh not at all. You'd be over-qualified if you had. Ok, let's see, have you ever ridden a bike?

PD: Twice. But my cousin owns one, and I ride on the back of it with him all the time.

I: Ok we're really looking for some raw talent here to develop. You may have too much experience. But I've got a few more questions here. You ever drive in video games?

PD: I played Mario Kart a few times. I like it when I spin all over the place. Oh, and some other more realistic racing games, but I usually destroy my car before the first checkpoint. Is that a problem? I probably should have thought about my answer before blurting it out like that...

I: No no, that's just fine. I'm liking what I hear. Let's see...the taxis/busses are manual transmission. Do you know about how to shift gears?

PD: Well, I've heard it's good to be in 3rd or 4th by the time I'm through an intersection, even though I'm only going 30 mph at the time. And I'll coast in neutral down all hills, and any distances after a hill until I have to turn again.

I: Ooh...excellent. Now would you turn into oncoming traffic and hope everyone in the lane your turning into move to accommodate your vehicle?

PD: Why would I do...

I: [Interrupting, muttering while writing with a frown] ...hmm, not good, not good...

PD: I mean of course I would!

I: Oh! Good, good. All right. Are you comfortable with horns?

PD: Like to make noise with?

I: Yes, exactly. Would you use one if we let you?

PD: Wait - you mean to tell me I can use a horn?

I: We'd prefer it. If anyone is within a block radius of you, you should blast it at least 3 times. You know, just to make sure they're aware of your presence. Even if they're behind you, walking or driving in the opposite direction. And keep in mind, 3 is a minimum.

PD: I'm going to enjoy this job.

I: Great! I've heard all I need to hear, when can you start?